dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
