He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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