I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
