I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
