And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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