he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
