it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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