Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
