sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am one with the molecules
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize