What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
zippers are such a cool invention
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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