I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
