Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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