I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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