Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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