make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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