he wants to bone in the snuggie
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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