Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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