this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I believe in your delicious
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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