Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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