i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
