see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i came on her dog
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
