I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
