omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
