She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize