Who did Billy Mays play for?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she told me i tasted like america
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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