whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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