I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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