How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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