I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
