she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
