And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
