WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
