Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
