do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
