Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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