No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
