and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
