Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
