I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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