I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
