You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize