after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
