these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my poor anus
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
