it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
