what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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