I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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