My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
