Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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