and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
