My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I faked an abortion last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
