I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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