I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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