Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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