We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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