it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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