I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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