you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
